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Early 2022 continues with disappointing news and reviews, rather than the safe encouraging way we had hoped it would be. Still, there are a few positive glimmers, with time for 2022 to grow into its "best self." Let's not give up on it yet.
Also please trust, one-step-at-a-time, by giving yourself permission to mourn (sharing your pain with those you trust), as well as, with no restrictive timelines for your journey, you will find a way to live with your painful loss . . . Grief is a sorrowful place. While you would never willingly choose grief, how can you help yourself when grief chooses you? We are so sorry for your loss and would like to help you . . . Following are suggestions and insights from my fellow writers and from me; insights we have discovered while walking our own journeys. Although everyone's grief is unique, commonalities exist for us all. As you begin to cope with your grief, please keep your expectations realistic. If you can be gentle to you, compassion will spill onto others while it circles back home: "Compassion is language the deaf can hear and the blind can see." -Mark Twain- In your sadness and loss, it can feel as if life should screech to a full stop. Yet you see "everything" moving right along as normal. Traditional celebratory times, laden with memories, can blind-side those who grieve with unpredictable emotions. When a roller-coaster-ride of sorrow feels unstoppable, please move with the wave rather than fleeing emotionally. Trust that the darkest days hold tiny shimmers of light, if you allow the light in. Deep breaths, as you bring your loved-one into your day. "All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle." - St. Francis of Assisi (1181-1226) Along with your loss, you have been coping with a world pandemic while enduring stressful world and local news. Grief remains a complicated journey, rather than a destination. When some days feel too sorrowful for you to bear, hold onto wise people, wise words, and empathetic quotes. Certain quotes may seem as if they have been written just for you: "There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness. They are the messengers of unspeakable love." Irving Washington This festive bear to your left is an essential reminder to hold tight to how important you are to so many. We hope that you will reach outward, rather than bottling-up your feelings. Grief-work is a pivotal part of this journey of yours. Allow yourself to be who you are in your sorrow rather than attempting to wear a false mask. Did you realize that mourning and grieving are somewhat different? Grieving is often continued alone; yet, mourning is a crucial part of your journey too. It is a time when bravely you reach outward to talk about your loved-one, sharing the pain of your loss with those you trust. Isolation and pretense are not healthy for you. Please encourage meaningful contact with friends and family by phone, text, internet, and safe visits. Include closer connections with your healing circle. Snail-mail can sometimes offer some of the help and support you need. In addition, be inclusive of the times when your health care professionals may offer important resources for you. Bereaved moms give back with courage: Consistently it inspires me of what beauty and hope a grieving heart can give. Following are examples of two: (1) Dawn Hembling wrote her inspiring poem "Comfort" to honour her beloved son: Neil Warren Hembling: July 25, 1969- January 12, 2000. Dawn confides, "My daughter planted a seed in my head, as we faced our first spring after losing Neil. These words came a few days later, as I looked out of my windows at branches against a blue sky. Valerie had commented on the fact that our grief was matched by the joy of the recipient families, as her brother was a multiple organ donor." (2) Barbara, bereaved mother of Nathan, crafts her beautiful work from parachute silk: The Story of the Dragonfly begins: "Once in a little pond, in the muddy water under the lily pads, there lived a little water beetle . . ." Barbara weaves key chains, in her son's honour and memory, generously donating them along with this timeless legend. If you have an interest in Barbara's comforting tributes, you can reach her at dragonflys4nathan@gmail.com Books as therapy: Bibliotherapy can provide an additional avenue of comfort . . . During my grief-journey, I found that selective reading offered a safe and encouraging hiatus from the bleakness of my grief. As many of my contributing writers discovered as well, reading gave me helpful stories and insights of how others have coped. Quote: Suzy (Robin's Story): "Reading: A Light in the Darkness." Please explore Dr. Hoi F. Cheu's article on Bibliotherapy in the Addendum of Life Came to a Standstill, along with Dr. Cheu's insightful quote on our cover. Feeling alone: If some of your friends and family don't grasp the weight of your sorrow, share how you feel and ask for what you need. Often we must walk a similar path to comprehend another's heartache. As a bereaved person, you may need to teach those around you how to help you best. You deserve the same compassion that you would offer to a special friend. The pages of our book do not speak to the ongoing complications of Covid-19, or the recent realities of 2022; just the same, we hold out a helping hand for your grief. Life Came to a Standstill is dedicated to every heart impacted by loss. We "get it" that your grief continues to impact you, sometimes, to the point of paralysis, while world events strive to overshadow your personal sorrow. Your loved-one remains an important part of your life. Honouring him/her by relaying personal stories (an integral part of you both) helps you. Above all else do not give up. One day at a time, you can do "this." To learn about our book: photos, a piece of the Introduction, or to read the first paragraph of each chapter click on "author & contributing writers." To view the opinions of others, open "reviews." Moving through this site, under "more" you'll find 2 free support-booklets ready to print. Scroll further for book tips. Grieving a loved-one is the hardest work. Various communities offer bereavement support. One valuable resource is Bereaved Families of Ontario-York Region (BFOYR). Click here to access their website. While face-to-face support remains suspended for now (due to Covid-19) peer support by phone is available upon request, as well as certain virtual support sessions. Leave a message at (905) 898-6265, or contact through the website link above. Your well-being is an important focus of this compassionate volunteer-based organization. "Life Came to a Standstill" is available through many venues, including libraries. To see where you can purchase your copy (with no obligation to buy) look under "order your copy." Follow our FB book page by clicking the FB symbol below, or send us a note anytime at all. Congratulations to the six winners in our autumn Goodreads Giveaway; We appreciate your interest in Life Came to a Standstill. Our Goodreads' profile is available here During each and every day, may you find hope and health, strength and compassion, safety and love. 
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