Welcome and please explore . . .
|
Grief is such a hard place; a place that no one would willing choose to visit. But is there a way we can help ourselves to cope when grief chooses us?
Following are suggestions and insights: a few of the coping tools my fellow writers and I have discovered while walking our own journeys. Although everyone's grief is unique, commonalities exist for us all. To begin, please try to keep your expectations of yourself realistic. If you can be gentle to you, compassion will spill onto others while it circles back home: "Compassion is language the deaf can hear and the blind can see." -Mark Twain- In your sadness and loss, it can feel as if life in general should come to a full stop; yet, you find everything moving along as normal. Traditional celebratory times continue and these special days, laden with memories, can blind-side those of us who grieve with unpredictable emotions. When an unexpected roller-coaster-ride of loss feels unstoppable, move with the wave rather than fleeing emotionally. The darkest days hold tiny shimmers of light, if you can bear to let the light in. Deep breaths, as you bring your loved-one into your day. "All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle." - St. Francis of Assisi (1181-1226) Along with your loss, you have been coping with a world pandemic while enduring stressful world and local news. While encouraging hope, grief remains a complicated journey rather than a destination. When some days feel too sorrowful to bear, hold onto wise people, wise words, and empathetic quotes. Certain quotes can seem as if they have been written for you . . . "There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness. They are the messengers of unspeakable love." Irving Washington Please reach outward rather than bottling-up your painful feelings. Grief-work is a pivotal part of your journey. Allow yourself to be who you are in your sorrow rather than attempting to wear a false mask. Mourning and grieving are somewhat different. Grieving we often do alone, but mourning is a crucial part of this journey too; it's a time when we reach outward, talk about our precious loved-one, and share the pain of our irreplaceable loss with those we trust. Isolation and pretense are not comforting for you. Foster meaningful contact with friends and family by phone, text, internet, safe visits, and closer connections with your healing circle. Snail-mail too can offer some of the help and support you need. Above all else (as hard as it is) please do not give up. One step at a time, you can do "this" . . . If some of your friends and family don't grasp the weight of your sorrow, share how you feel and ask for what you need. Often we must walk a "similar path" to fully comprehend another's heartache. As a bereaved person, you may need to teach those around you how to help you best. You deserve the same compassion that you would offer to a special friend. Bereaved moms give back with courage: Consistently it inspires me of what beauty and hope a grieving heart can give. Here are examples of two: Dawn Hembling wrote her inspiring poem "Comfort" (photo below to your left) to honour her beloved son: Neil Warren Hembling: July 25, 1969- January 12, 2000. Dawn confides, "My daughter planted a seed in my head, as we faced our first spring after losing Neil. These words came a few days later, as I looked out of my windows at branches against a blue sky. Valerie had commented on the fact that our grief was matched by the joy of the recipient families, as her brother was a multiple organ donor." Barbara, bereaved mother of Nathan, crafts her beautiful work from parachute silk (photo below to the left): The Story of the Dragonfly begins: "Once in a little pond, in the muddy water under the lily pads, there lived a little water beetle . . ." Barbara weaves key chains, in her son's honour and memory, generously donating them along with this timeless legend. If you have an interest in these comforting tributes, you can reach Barbara at dragonflys4nathan@gmail.com The pages of our book do not "speak" to the complications of Covid-19, or the recent realities of 2021; still, we hold out a helping hand for your grief. "Life Came to a Standstill" is dedicated to every heart impacted by loss. We "get it" that your grief continues to impact you, sometimes to the point of paralysis, while world events strive to overshadow your personal sorrow. Your loved-one remains an essential part of your life. Honouring him/her by relaying personal stories (an integral part of you both) helps. Trust your heart . . . To learn about Life Came to a Standstill: photos, a piece of the Introduction, and to read the first paragraph of each chapter click on "author & contributing writers." To view the opinions of others, open "reviews." Moving through our site, under "more" you'll find 2 free support-booklets ready to print, than scroll further for book tips. Grieving a loved-one is the hardest work. We'd like to help you . . . Various communities offer bereavement support. One valuable resource is Bereaved Families of Ontario-York Region (BFOYR). Click here to access their website. While face-to-face support remains suspended for now (due to Covid-19) peer support by phone is available upon request, as well as certain virtual support sessions. Leave a message at (905) 898-6265, or contact through the website link above. Your well-being is an important focus of this compassionate volunteer-based organization. "Life Came to a Standstill" is available through many venues, including libraries. To see where you can purchase your copy (with no obligation to buy) look under "order your copy." Follow our FB book page by clicking the FB symbol below, or send us a note anytime at all. Congratulations to the six winners in our recent Goodreads Giveaway; We appreciate your interest in "Life Came to a Standstill." Our Goodreads' profile is available here During each and every day, may you have hope, health, strength, safety and love. 
|
|
|
