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As autumn approaches, the flowers of late summer can offer a little lift; however, for those who are bereaved, this beauty may be painfully poignant. And while no one would willing choose grief; what can you do if grief chooses you?
As you cope, day-by-day, please keep your expectations realistic. If you can be gentle to "you," compassion will spill onto others, while it circles back to you:
"Compassion is language the deaf can hear and the blind can see."
In your sadness and loss, it can feel as if life in general should come to a halt; yet, in the world "outside," traditional celebratory times continue throughout the year. These special days can blind-side those who grieve with unpredictable emotions. As hard as it is, when an unexpected roller-coaster-ride of pain feels unstoppable, move with the wave rather than fleeing emotionally. The darkest days hold tiny shimmers of light, if you can bear to let the light in. Deep breaths, as you bring your loved-one into your day.
Along with your grief, you have been coping with a world pandemic, while enduring stressful world and local news. Here we are in 2021, and no one has escaped the affects of this difficult time.
As we encourage hope, grief remains a complicated journey rather than a destination. When some days are too sorrowful to bear, hold onto wise people, wise words, and empathetic quotes. Certain quotes can feel as if they have been written for you. Following is just one:
"There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness. They are the messengers of unspeakable love." Irving Washington
Reach outward rather than bottling-up your hard feelings. Grief-work is a pivotal part of your journey. Please allow yourself to be who you are in your sorrow rather than attempting to wear a false mask. It helps to share your story with those you trust. Isolation and pretense are not comforting for you. Encourage meaningful contact with friends and family by phone, text, internet, safe visits, and closer connections with your healing circle. Snail-mail too can offer some of the help and support you need.
If it seems as if some of your friends and family don't understand your sorrow, share how you feel, and ask for what you need. Often we must walk a "similar path" to fully comprehend another's heartache. You deserve and need the same kindness that you would offer to a special friend.
Bereaved moms give back with courage: Consistently it inspires me of what beauty and hope a grieving heart can give.
Following are examples of just two: Dawn Hembling wrote her inspiring poem "Comfort" (photo down and to your left) to honour her beloved son: Neil Warren Hembling: July 25, 1969- January 12, 2000.
Dawn confides, "My daughter planted a seed in my head, as we faced our first spring after losing Neil. These words came, a few days later, as I looked out of my windows at branches against a blue sky. Valerie had commented on the fact that our grief was matched by the joy of the recipient families, as her brother was a multiple organ donor."
Barbara, bereaved mother of Nathan, crafts her beautiful work from parachute silk (photo/ scroll down/ left): The Story of the Dragonfly begins: "Once in a little pond, in the muddy water under the lily pads, there lived a little water beetle . . ." Barbara, weaves memorable key chains in her son's honour and memory. She generously donates them including this timeless legend.
Although the pages of our book do not "speak" to the complications of Covid-19, or the recent realities of 2021, we hold out a helping hand for your grief. "Life Came to a Standstill" is dedicated to every heart impacted by loss. We "get it" that your grief continues to impact you, sometimes to the point of paralysis, while world events attempt to overshadow your personal sorrow.
To learn more about Life Came to a Standstill: photos, a piece of the Introduction, and to read the first paragraph of each chapter click on: "author & contributing writers." To view the opinions of others, please open "reviews." Moving through our site, under "more" you'll find 2 free support-booklets ready to print, than scroll further for 14 book tips. Grieving a loved-one is the hardest work. We'd like to help you . . .
Various communities offer bereavement support. One valuable resource is Bereaved Families of Ontario-York Region (BFOYR). Please click here to access their website. While face-to-face support is temporarily suspended, due to Covid-19, peer support by phone is available upon request: leave a message at (905) 898-6265.
"Life Came to a Standstill" is available through many venues, including libraries. To see where you can purchase your copy (with no obligation to buy) look under "order your copy." Follow our FB book page by clicking the FB symbol below, or send us a note anytime at all.
Congratulations to the winners in our spring Goodreads Giveaway Contest! We appreciate your interest in Life Came to a Standstill. Please watch for our end of summer giveaway coming soon. FYI our Goodreads' profile is available here
During each and every day, may you have hope, health, strength, safety and love.