Welcome; we are deeply sorry for your loss . . .
Grief changes everything. While special occasions draw near, painful anniversaries hover for those who are bereaved. As your gardens go to bed for the winter, your sorrow may flourish. Feelings of disconnection with change are quite normal with grief. It's daunting to enter a new season without your loved-one "here." Perhaps if you are aware of your triggers this may soften the blow, a little bit; allowing you to feel less blind-sided. Please remember that every positive effort you make buoys your confidence. Bridges of hope can be built with these little encouragements. Grief is your hardest work: Please keep expectations of yourself realistic. Despair and exhaustion, even anger, among other painful emotions, can be usual reactions to your loss. Yes your bereavement is complicated, and it's losses are multifaceted. They are interdependent on your relationship with the one who sadly has died. Each loss is profound. There may be times, actually, we feel as if we've lost our past, our present, and our future... As clichéd as it may sound; deep breaths, then one moment, and one hour, and one day at a time...while you speak your loved-one's name out loud. Remember this is a journey, not a destination. 
Stained glass art blooms from many broken pieces. With grief-work, caring support, and never giving up, your shattered pieces will realign too, into the irreplaceable person who is you. Different than before your loss, how could you not be? But still you...
Also, please trust that sharing your story will lighten your burden, while encouraging an expansion of your essential coping circle. It bears repeating that you are "here" for a reason. Your essential job is NEVER to give up! Grief is not an attitude problem to be corrected with false joviality. Nonetheless, it is healthy (when you can) for you to smile and laugh. Laughter is never disrespectful to your loved one's death. Your roller-coaster-ride of loss will continue to wear many different faces. With zero timelines for your grief-journey, you will find a way to live with the pain of your life-changing unexpected loss. We say "unexpected," because even if your loved-one has been seriously ill, rarely are we/you prepared for his/her death. You may not realize this, but you are far braver than you know. No one willingly chooses grief. Our goal is to help when this uninvited intruder chooses you. As celebratory times arrive, bursting to the brim with memories, it's understandable for you to experience painful thoughts, and recurring visions of: "before-your-loss," and "after-your-loss." Grief is an ongoing journey: Reading may offer a safe private space for you: Bibliotherapy, books as therapy, are accessible always; opening "windows" as to how others cope. Perhaps their stories may lend validation to you; validation, for the many, and varied changes of emotion which grief unexpectedly brings. Perhaps explore Dr. Hoi F. Cheu's article on Bibliotherapy in the Addendum of Life Came to a Standstill. Please check out other pages on our site; free booklets, a poem, and dragonfly key chains: In the headings choose the option for Grief and the Courts, and A Guide For Living After Loss. Then read Dawn's original poem, and/or, contact Barbara regarding her amazing key-chains, also continue for book tips. Alone: If friends and family cannot grasp the weight of your sorrow, share how you feel; ask for what you need. Teach those in your support circles how to help you best. Wide swings of emotion can be normal for you; including fear, and possibly anger. Expressing your feelings may offer a healthy release and validation for you. Essential rules: "Do not hurt yourself. Do not hurt anyone else." Bereavement support: Various communities, in many countries, offer free support for grieving families. Bereaved Families of Ontario, and Compassionate Friends are examples of only two. Wherever you live, please research the avenue most accessible and best suited to you. Your well-being is the primary focus of these volunteer based organizations. Sharing your unique story with those you trust will lighten your burden and bolster your confidence. Every healing effort helps you: |
Grief unfairly tasks you with the most painful work. When you feel broken, as you may well do, please hold onto hope.
Following the traumatic deaths of our seven children, and one sister my fellow writers, and I marked "hope," as one of our most sustaining insights. Consistently it retains its relevance, grace, and power. 
Permission to grab little breaks:
Walk with your grief in nature; savour a cup of tea in a comfy chair, or an update in your journal. Perhaps, a distracting program; or, an empathetic chat with a friend. While your tears continue to flow, your mind and heart will benefit from each small diversion. 
You have been coping with so much. When moments feel too overwhelming to bear, please reach out to wise people, wise quotes, and wise words.
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"Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak
Whispers the oe'r fraught heart and bids it break.
--William Shakespeare
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While despair hovers;
please trust that you have a choice. Choose hope. |
Above all else do not give up.
"All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle." - St. Francis of Assisi (1181-1226)
"All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle." - St. Francis of Assisi (1181-1226)
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As contrary as this, initially, may feel;
Walk toward your pain. Soften the rigid way you hold your shoulders and your belly. Gently walk toward mercy for "you." In Stephen Levine's compassionate book: "Unattended Sorrow," he quotes the Buddha: "You can look the whole world over and never find anyone more deserving of love than yourself." |
Gwendolyn Broadmore, author
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Find our book:
"Life Came to a Standstill" is available through physical book stores, online, and in certain libraries. Have a look (with no obligation to buy) under "order your copy." |
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We wish you love,
health and safety, compassion and companionship, and always hope . . . |
Once again, our warmest congratulations to our October 2024 Goodreads free-book-winners. Our thanks, and appreciation for your interest in "Life Came to a Standstill."
Goodreads link available here: www.goodreads.com/author/dashboard?ref=nav_profile_authordash
Goodreads link available here: www.goodreads.com/author/dashboard?ref=nav_profile_authordash
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"Life Came to a Standstill,"
True Accounts of Loss, Love, and Hope How does a parent live through the death of a child? This profound poignant compilation of the courageous personal journeys of seven grieving mothers, and one grieving sister offers a road map of how to cope with the anguish of traumatic unexpected loss—giving inspiration for continuing to live. 
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