Welcome; please explore . . .
As you inch forward, please reach out for compassionate understanding, love, and hope.
A sunrise crafted from broken pieces of glass. Believe that with compassionate help, and persistent grief-work the shattered pieces of "you" will realign to a one-of-a-kind irreplaceable "whole."
Your sorrow is a healthy normal response to the loss of your loved one. Please do whatever sooths you best.
Bibliotherapy (books as therapy); Accessible any time of day or night; opening insights as to how others cope. Explore Dr. Hoi F. Cheu's article on Bibliotherapy in the Addendum of Life Came to a Standstill.
In our latest giveaway:
Warm congratulations to the winners. We value every entrant's interest in "Life Came to a Standstill," and truly wish you all could win.
Our Goodreads' profile is available here
Thinking of you in 2023:
It's painful to move forward in 2023, without your loved-one here, please trust that you can, one little baby step at a time.
We are deeply sorry for your loss:
As you scroll we hope you see insights that speak to you; insights we uncovered during our grief-journeys. The most sustaining of these insights is hope. For us it never loses its relevance, or its power. Yet, when you are grieving there may be times when the ache in your heart, and sinking sensation in your stomach strive to control your whole world. Sadly, you can feel irrevocably broken.
Grief remains the hardest work:
Please keep your expectations of yourself realistic. Feelings of despair, are normal and understandable reactions to your loss. Be assured that your grief is not an attitude problem to be corrected with false joviality.
Be "you" without pretense:
While your sadness is always with you, it is healthy for you to smile and laugh when you can. This is not disrespectful to your loved one's death. The roller-coaster-ride of grief will continue to present many different faces.
Grant yourself permission to grab little breaks from your grief. Perhaps an embracing walk in nature, a cup of tea in a comfy chair, a quiet update in your journal, a distracting program, or an empathetic chat. Even if the tears flow through it all, your body, mind and heart need these periodic diversions from your continuing pain.
Braver than you know;
Speak to yourself with compassion. Trust that with no restrictive timelines for your journey you will find a way to live with your painful unexpected loss. We say "unexpected," because even if your loved-one has been seriously ill, rarely are you prepared for his/her death; truly, how could you be? You may not realize this, but you are braver than you know . . .
While you would not willingly choose grief, we would like to help when grief chooses you. As celebratory times arrive, bursting to the brim with memories, it is natural to be blind-sided by stressful thoughts of your heartbreaking loss.
Along with your sorrow you have been coping with a pandemic, including tragic world news. Remember it is not your fault, and if moments feel too overwhelming to bear, please reach out to wise people, wise words, and empathetic quotes.
Every healing effort, no matter how small, helps you.
"Hope" is the thing with feathers-
That perches in the soul-
And sings the tune without words-
And never stops-at all-
Emily Dickinson (1830-1886)
Free booklets, a poem, keychains, & book tips: please open the the option for the booklets (Grief and the Courts, and A Guide For Living After Loss) then you can also read Dawn's original poem, perhaps contact Barbara regarding her key-chains, or continue for book tips.
Alone: If some friends and family cannot grasp the weight of your grief, share how you feel and ask for what you need. Teach those in your circle how to help you best. Wide swings of emotions can be normal for you, including fear and possibly anger. Expressing your true feelings gives you a healthy release.
"Do not hurt yourself. Do not hurt anyone else."
As difficult as this may seem, walk toward your pain rather than fleeing. Soften the rigid way you hold your shoulders and belly, and gently walk toward mercy for "you." In Stephen Levine's compassionate book: "Unattended Sorrow," he quotes Buddha: "You can look the whole world over and never find anyone more deserving of love than yourself."
Above all else do not give up.
"All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle." - St. Francis of Assisi (1181-1226)
Various communities, in many countries, offer free support for grieving families. For instance, "Compassionate Friends" is available in the several US states and beyond.
In Ontario Canada: Bereaved Families of Ontario (BFO) is available in several jurisdictions. In York Region ON Bereaved Families of Ontario-York Region provides a safe and healing place for those who are bereaved.
Wherever you live, please research the avenue most accessible and best suited to you. Your well-being is the primary focus of these volunteer based organizations.
Find our book:
"Life Came to a Standstill" is available through various venues including certain libraries. See where you can purchase, with no obligation to buy, under "order your copy." Or open "Contact" to send us a note anytime at all.
During each day, may you find hope and health, strength and compassion, safety and love.