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Hang onto to hope, while congratulating yourself for each helpful step: even though it may have been difficult, and even though there were moments when you doubted yourself. Be proud of being gentle with "you" while continuing to protect yourself from toxic positivity. Your grief is a healthy human response to the loss of your loved one. Feeling despair, including a wide range of often scary emotions is normal for you. Your grief is not an attitude problem to be corrected with false joviality. Please be "you" without pretense. It is healthy to smile and even to laugh out loud when you can (this is not a disrespect to your loved one's death). Simply allow your sorrow and tears their rightful spaces too. And while you reach out for help to encourage you, trust that you will safely navigate your painful grief journey; a journey we know that you did not ask for . . . To explore our website with ease: Click on "Author & Contributing Writers" for photos, bios, a piece of the "Introduction," and the starting paragraph of each chapter. For the opinions of others, check under "Reviews," then try "more," where 2 free support-booklets are ready to print; scroll further for book tips. Through your hurt, you are braver than you know. Take heart that no matter how challenging these past months have been (and continue to be) you have navigated through to today. Congratulate yourself for this. We welcome new seasons, yet, these changes and memories may introduce hurdles on top of the ones you already are facing. Trust that with no restrictive timelines for your journey, you will find a way to live with your painful unexpected loss. We say unexpected, because even if your loved-one has been seriously ill, you're rarely prepared for his/her death; truly, how could you be? While you would not willingly choose grief, we would like to help you if grief chooses you. Following are insights from my fellow writers and from me; insights discovered during our journeys. Grief is the hardest work you will ever do; therefore, as you try to cope with your loss, please keep expectations of yourself realistic. If you can be gentle to you, your compassion will spill onto others while it circles back home. In your heartache, it is understandable to feel as if life, in the outside world, should screech to a full stop right along with yours. Then, sometimes when traditional celebratory times arrive, bursting to the brim with memories, you are blind-sided by unpredictable emotions. Still, our darkest days hold tiny shimmers of light, if we allow the light to come in. "All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle." - St. Francis of Assisi (1181-1226) As well you have been coping with a world pandemic/ endemic; while enduring tragic world news. It is not your fault, and absolutely you are doing your best. Grief is a journey rather than a destination. When certain moments feel too sorrowful for you to bear, seek comfort by holding onto wise people, wise words, and empathetic quotes. Every healing effort that you make helps you a little bit: it truly does. Bereaved moms give back with courage: Dawn Hembling created "Comfort" in honour and memory of her beloved son, Neil Warren Hembling. Dawn confides, my daughter planted a seed as we faced our first spring without Neil. These words came as I looked out at branches against a blue sky. Valerie commented that our grief was matched by the joy of the recipient families. Her brother was a multiple organ donor. Barbara, bereaved mom of Nathan, crafts her whimsical keychains from parachute silk, as a tribute to her precious son; including a timeless legend (The Story of The Dragonfly) in each donation package: "Once in a little pond, in the muddy water, under the lily pads there lived a little water beetle . . ." Re: Barbara's uplifting tributes, reach out to her at: dragonflys4nathan@gmail.com Feeling alone: If some friends and family don't grasp the full weight of your sorrow, share how you feel and ask for what you need. As a bereaved person you may need to teach those in your circle how to help you best. Feel assured that it's normal for you to experience powerful emotions of despair, fear, and (yes) anger. We hope you know that you deserve the same compassion you would freely offer to a special friend. Books as therapy: bibliotherapy provides reaffirming validation for you. Selective reading offers a safe hiatus from grief's bleakest days. Accessible anytime of day or night, books may open helpful insights for you of how others cope. Please explore Dr. Hoi F. Cheu's article on Bibliotherapy, in the Addendum of Life Came to a Standstill, as well as his caring quote on our cover. Life Came to a Standstill: While we do not address the recent realities of 2022, we hold out a helping hand for your grief. Our book is dedicated to every heart impacted by loss. We "get it" that your grief continues to impact you, while world events contrive to overshadow your sorrow. Your loved-one remains an important part of your life. Honouring him/her by relaying personal stories (an integral part of you both) helps you. Above all else do not give up. By travelling one-day-at-a-time, reaching for compassionate help to bolster you in times of your greatest need, you can do "this." Bereavement support: Various communities, in many countries, offer free support for grieving families; "Compassionate Friends" being one of the ones available in the several US states and beyond. Wherever you live, please research the avenue most accessible and best suited to you. Your well-being is the primary focus of these volunteer based organizations. In Ontario Canada: Bereaved Families of Ontario (BFO) is available in several jurisdictions. For instance, in York Region ON (for the past 30 years) Bereaved Families of Ontario-York Region has provided a safe, helpful, and healing place for those who are bereaved. Please click here to access the BFOYR website. Our deep appreciation to the many entrants (in our various book giveaways) for your interest in "Life Came to a Standstill." Goodreads' profile is available here 
Find our book: "Life Came to a Standstill" is available through various venues including certain libraries. See where you can purchase, with no obligation to buy, under "order your copy." Open "Contact" to send us a note anytime at all. We are deeply sorry for your loss:
Hold tight to how important you are to so many. During each and every day, may you find hope and health, strength and compassion, safety and love. |
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